Retro Night


According Vladimir Nabokov, nothing revives the past so completely as a smell that was once associated with it.
Usually, the nice memories “wake up” with a smell, a song or a picture. 

It’s seven o’clock and the morning light is coming through the clouds,  I’m waiting  for the tram and enjoy the snow falling on my hair. Now, is the perfect time to listen again that album, after many months. 

Few more minutes till the tram arrives. The man beside me, light a cigarette – it always seems like a long time if you wait for bus, without smoking. That smell. The first second when the cigarette burns, just jump memories of that night… oh! Wait, that was the last time I heard this album.
Wednesday night is always better with good friends, but much better when they come at eleven o’clock with a good wine!
Of course, we know that night will be interesting, many laughs, conversations and less sleep – maybe not at all. 
We started with classics movies, then some new releases of our favorites bands and some talks.
After some glasses of wine, the album “retro music” started play and we started a talk about the future, both of us were plan to move on, different destinations but the same decision.
“I made a mistake, don’t do the same” said to me, “If you want something do it, because the world is going on and no one is waiting for you” and that’s true! 
It took few days and I realized exactly the meaning of that sayings, then I was that who delay.  

Nowadays, I really understand this conversation, on another view- that who going on and doesn’t wait. 
I realize that both of choices (delay or continue), are the same difficult: on the one hand, you can’t decide, so you stay in a “safe” situation, something familiar to you.  It’s not (always) because of lazy,  I think the fear is more hard than lazy days.
On the other hand, when you make the “big step”, you really focus on this. Because it needs to work hard, no one will do this for you.  But now you can’t wait for others, you can’t make “come back” for the others. Maybe, in the beginning you try to be in both of these situations (waiting for the others and pause with your life), but soon you will understand that doesn’t make any sense!
I think every improve in our life, after a hard work, we deserve a “gift”. That gift is the proud on yourself, but remember is always up to you!

Early morning light is coming through my window, it’s too early for more talk, it sounds only the cd-player and the coffeemaker. After a big cup of coffee, the last cigarette…and that different smell, in the first burn.


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